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Month: November 2018

Unger Conviction

‘Iron Maiden’ Performs to Sold Out Crowd at Local Mennonite Church

November 17, 2018 Andrew

ELIDA, OH There was some confusion with the local metal community after tickets they had purchased to see UK heavy metal icons ‘Iron Maiden’ turned out to be a performance by a single Mennonite woman […]

Unger Suspicion

Florida Hires Expert to Help with Election Recount

November 16, 2018 Andrew

TALLAHASSEE, FL Seemingly unable to ever get through an election without some sort of foul up, the State of Florida has hired the purple counting guy from Sesame Street to help with the recount. “We’ve […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Approves ‘Scandalous’ New Hemline

November 15, 2018 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK More than thirty parishioners fainted at the Harder-Dyck wedding in Swift Current this past Sunday after the bride sported a wedding dress with an ‘outrageous’ hemline just above the ankles. “The elders […]

Unger Games

Calgarians Vote Not to Host Massive $5 Billion Faspa

November 14, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Calgary has spoken. They do not want to host the 2026 quadrennial winter Faspa. In a plebiscite this week, Calgary voted overwhelmingly in favour of just ordering in Chinese food on that Sunday […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Starts Rival Donut Shop

November 13, 2018 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Local man Tim Hiebert was sick and tired of having his small Mennonite town constantly overlooked by the big donut and coffee chains, so he decided to do something about it himself. “I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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