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Month: June 2018

The Daily Bonnet

A List of Incredible Mennonite Superpowers

June 19, 2018 Andrew

While any just ordinary Mennonite can drain a swamp, milk a cow, or shoe a horse, only a rare few have these amazing superpowers. How many do you possess? Teleportation: The ability of Mennonite moms […]

Unger & Thirst

24 Hours Later, Dad is Still Going Back for “Just One More Plate”

June 18, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Sunday, June 17 was the 2018 Manitoba Marathon, an event where Mennonite dads compete to see who can make the most return visits to refill their plates with vereniki and schmaunt fat at […]

Unger & Thirst

How to Get That Perfect Mennonite ‘Dad Bod’ You Always Wanted

June 17, 2018 Andrew

Shocking as the results may be, surveys suggest the majority of women prefer a ‘Dad bod’ to a more well-sculpted physique. Therefore, in an effort to kindle some romance this summer, The Daily Bonnet has […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Church Awarded Their Very Own Chicken Chef Franchise

June 16, 2018 Andrew

KLEINSCHANTZ, MB The MB church in the tiny Mennonite village of Kleinschantz has been awarded their very own Chicken Chef franchise, which will begin operation in the church basement this fall. “Oba, our vary own […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Rush to Get Their Cars Outside During Hail Storm

June 15, 2018 Andrew

PETERSFELD, SK Mennonites across the region were in a panic to get their cars out onto the streets during the record hail storm last week. “With golfball-ball sized hail like that, how else can I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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