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Month: October 2016

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Claims Annual Quilt Auction is ‘Rigged’

October 19, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After failing to get the winning bid at the last five church quilt auctions, Mrs. Donna Toews, 71, of Altona is now claiming that the whole system is rigged. “I’ve got evidence – I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Bible Study Turns Into Multi-Level Marketing Pitch

October 19, 2016 Andrew

GROSSWEIDE, MB After a quick reading of Psalms 23 and a ten second opportunity for “prayer requests,” Bible study leader Phillip Broesky managed to transform the meeting into a multi-level marketing pitch. “I was kind […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Going Out of Business’ Sale Attracts Thousands of First Time Customers

October 18, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB First-time customers arrived in droves this weekend to check out Dueck Hardware’s going-out-of-business sale. The hardware store, started on Main Street in 1973 by Mr. Peter V. Dueck, has served the community for […]

Unger & Thirst

Swiss and Dutch Mennonites Find Common Ground in Their Love for Cheese

October 17, 2016 Andrew

AYLMER, ON When the Anabaptist movement began in 16th century Switzerland, and later spread to Tyrol and the Low Countries, few people could have predicted the tremendous division that would be created within a group of people […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Breaks His Vow of Pacifism to Defend the Last Can of Pepsi

October 16, 2016 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Centuries of non-violent Anabaptist teaching were tossed under the proverbial bus today as Mr. Thomas W. Koop of Hillsboro, Kansas assaulted fifteen innocent people in order to defend his right to the last […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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