Trump Shares Highly Classified Information with Gossipy Mennonite Lady


In what is being called the “greatest security breach in US history,” the Washington Post reports that President Trump disclosed hundreds of important state secrets to a Mennonite lady in an Oval Office meeting this past week.

“After Mrs. Krehbiel got ahold of that info she spread it to Mrs. Hostetler who whispered it in the church lobby to Mrs. Yoder and from there it made it’s way to Mrs. Loewen in southern Ontario…and eventually Moscow,” said Washington Post reporter Craig Miller. “Once a secret is out there among the Mennonites it’s only a matter of time before it’s in the hands of the Russians.”

The White House was quick to deny the claim saying that Mrs. Krehbiel wasn’t told anything that every Mennonite doesn’t already know.

“I was at the meeting, so I can tell you for certain that President Trump didn’t tell Mrs. Krehbiel anything she couldn’t have already known had she been a top CIA operative,” said Sean Spicer. “I mean I think we can all trust Mrs. Krehbiel with the nuclear codes.”

Upon learning that it was “only the nuclear codes” and not something really important, the Democrats decided to turn their attention back to complaining about the firing of a guy they wanted fired.

(photo credit: by Gage Skidmore/CC)

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