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winter

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Excited for the Arrival of Beige Season, the Most Beautiful Time of Year

March 22, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Millions of Canadians have been eagerly anticipating the arrival of beige season and its finally here. “I just love this time of year. The gravel, the stones, the garbage peeking out from under […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Welcomes New Law Firm ‘Friesen Froese Harder’

February 6, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites across Manitoba are excited about the new law firm Friesen Froese Harder that just opened up this week on Henderson Highway. “It was minus 35 on the day of our grand opening,” […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Praying for Snow Day So They Can Miss Church Tomorrow

December 8, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB With snow beginning to accumulate on Saturday evening, Mennonites across southern Alberta were hoping for a snow day on Sunday morning. “Oh would you look at that coming down,” said Dave Krahn of […]

Unger the Influence

“Nah, we’re good”: Winnipeg Excluded from Plan to Make Canada the 51st US State

December 4, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A committee of 12 American delegates have arrived in Canada this week in hopes of adding a significant amount of territory to the American empire. “Everything was going okay until we arrived in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesens Blamed for Manitoba’s Harsh Winters

November 28, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A recent study showed that Friesen was the most common surname in Manitoba, beating out such favourites as Wiebe, Klassen, and even Smith. The study came as no surprise for local meteorologists who […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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