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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Makes it Big on Broadway … Winnipeg

August 19, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG,MB It has been the lifelong dream of Altona’s Darren Loewen to make it on Broadway. Loewen caught the bug after playing Tevye in W.C. Miller Collegiate’s 1996 production of Fiddler on the Roof. “I’ve […]

Unger the Influence

Concerned Niverville Residents Demand Meeting at 32,000 Seat Stadium

August 10, 2024 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB After the Niverville Heritage Centre was not large enough to accommodate the crowd of concerned Nivervillians this week, residents are demanding a meeting at Princess Auto Stadium. “We must have room for every […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Couple Divorce After Conflict Over Air Conditioner Temperature

July 22, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Eight years of wedded bliss is all over for the Epps of North Kildonan this week, after an apparent marriage-ending fight over the AC temperature. “She wanted it at 23, while I prefer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Has to Read Every Single Freakin’ Word at the Museum

June 30, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Mr. Unger decided to torture his children this week by making them go to the museum this week and read every single last sign in the entire place. “We’ve got to […]

Unger Suspicion

Severe Turbulence on Winnipeg Streets Leaves Dozens Injured

May 27, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Al Wiens, 41, had to warn his children in the backseat to brace themselves as they drove down a residential street on the way to church this weekend. “Turns out, it was pretty […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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