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winnipeg jets

Unger Games

Empty Net Really Proud to Be Part of Ovechkin’s Historic Moment

December 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An empty net from Winnipeg, Manitoba will forever be in the NHL record books after being scored on by Alexander Ovechkin, who moves to number 2 all time. “I have to admit that […]

Unger Suspicion

Man in Cheetos-Stained Boxer Shorts Appointed Captain of the Winnipeg Jets

September 17, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Big news in the hockey world this week as local mom’s basement-dweller Al Kroeker, 38, of Winnipeg has just been appointed Captain of the Winnipeg Jets for the upcoming season. “It looks like […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Offers Barry Trotz ‘Free Farmer Sausage for Life’ to Coach Jets

June 14, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local hockey fan Robert Sawatzky is so eager to get free agent head coach Barry Trotz signed on with the Winnipeg Jets that he’s willing to offer him ‘free farmer sausage for life.’ […]

Unger Suspicion

Ex-Blumenort Menno Knights Head Coach Signs with Winnipeg Jets

May 20, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets have inked Pieta Toews formerly GM, equipment manager, head coach, and tuck shop clerk of the Blumenort Menno Knights to fill the vacant head coaching job. “I can’t believe the […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith

April 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Desperately needing to shore up their physical game if they have any shot at the playoffs, the lowly Winnipeg Jets inked the hottest enforcer currently available – Will Smith. “I’m not sure how […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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