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Unger the Influence

Morden to Probe Alleged Winkler Election Interference

March 7, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB New evidence suggests Winklerites were trying to influence the voting at the Miss Morden Corn and Apple Festival pageant last year. This finding greatly concerns Morden’s Corn and Apple committee who are going […]

Unger & Thirst

Experts Now Say Schmaunt Fat Leaked from Lab in Winkler

March 6, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Experts are now saying the explosion of delicious schmaunt fat over the last few years did not arrive naturally but likely originated from a top secret laboratory in Mrs. Froese’s summer kitchen. “Oba, […]

The Daily Bonnet

“I don’t not love Winkler,” says Michael B. Jordan

March 4, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB In a rarely-seen clip that was cut from the TV broadcast, Hollywood superstar Michael B. Jordan claimed he doesn’t “not love Winkler,” this according to Mr. Plett who’s been telling everyone about at […]

Unger Suspicion

Winkler Spy Balloon Shot Down Above Morden

February 4, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB A couple of slingshots and some good aim were all it took to down a massive spy balloon from Winkler that was hovering in the skies of neighbouring Morden for the past few […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Communities Eager to Put a Siemens in Charge

November 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC (with files from WINKLER, MB) There is a growing trend in traditionally-Mennonite communities across Canada – putting a Siemens in charge. This month civic elections in both Abbotsford and Winkler sent a Siemens to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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