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wine

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Installs New Water Treatment Plant to Make All their Water Taste Just Like Niverville’s

November 5, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After months of consulting water sommeliers in neighbouring Niverville, a massive new water treatment plant opened in Steinbach this week, which promises to provide locals with “the distinct bouquet and mouthfeel of authentic […]

Unger & Thirst

Wine Ninjas Accidentally Deliver to Mennonite Woman

May 18, 2020 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A Mennonite woman in suburban Calgary was the victim of some well-meaning but misguided Wine Ninjas this weekend. The “ninjas” dropped off a package on the front doorstep of Mrs. Reimer, which included […]

Unger & Thirst

Wine Found in Mennonite Woman’s Cupboard “Just for Cooking” She Claims

January 23, 2020 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Mrs. Warkentin had some explaining to do after a lovely bottle of Stag’s Leap Cab Sauv was discovered tucked away in the back of kitchen cupboards. “It’s very suspicious. It was in behind […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Moms Gather for Wine O’Clock…I Mean “Bible Study”

January 10, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB For nearly a decade, Mennonite moms in North Kildonan have been gathering every Tuesday afternoon at Diane’s house to laugh, chat, and drink overly sweet white wines. “It all started about ten years […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Prophet Turns Wine Into Water

May 12, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Self-proclaimed miracle worker and sage Peter P. Peters wowed attendees at a Mennonite family gathering this past week by turning all of the wine into water. “I’d never seen anything like it,” said Abram […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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