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Unger Conviction

Pastor to Fight Epidemic of Mennonite Men Wearing Shorts in Church

June 1, 2025 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK After half the men in the congregation showed up in shorts this past Sunday, Pastor Carl is now enforcing the church’s long standing no shorts rule. “It’s been on the books for decades, […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Excited for the Arrival of Beige Season, the Most Beautiful Time of Year

March 22, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Millions of Canadians have been eagerly anticipating the arrival of beige season and its finally here. “I just love this time of year. The gravel, the stones, the garbage peeking out from under […]

Unger Games

20-Knipser Pileup Just Outside Blumenort

January 17, 2025 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Bad weather this weekend led to a massive pileup of knipsers in the Blumenort church basement multi-purpose room. “First there were just one or two knipsers in the 15-point zone, but it didn’t […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Praying for Snow Day So They Can Miss Church Tomorrow

December 8, 2024 Andrew

CALGARY, AB With snow beginning to accumulate on Saturday evening, Mennonites across southern Alberta were hoping for a snow day on Sunday morning. “Oh would you look at that coming down,” said Dave Krahn of […]

Unger the Influence

“Nah, we’re good”: Winnipeg Excluded from Plan to Make Canada the 51st US State

December 4, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A committee of 12 American delegates have arrived in Canada this week in hopes of adding a significant amount of territory to the American empire. “Everything was going okay until we arrived in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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