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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite College Students Crash ChatGPT by Requesting Too Many Hauerwas Essays All at Once

February 7, 2023 Andrew

HIEBERTFELD, SK Students at Mennonite colleges and universities nearly crashed the system this week by asking ChatGPT to create 5-page essays on the work of Stanley Hauerwas. “We had thousands of requests within minutes. It […]

Unger Suspicion

Meet Lisa, the One Person in All of Manitoba Who Doesn’t Have Covid Right Now

April 30, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Lisa, a third-year Mennonite Studies student from Winnipeg has recently been discovered as the only person in the entire province who doesn’t have Covid right now. “My cousin Sam has it, all of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Which Mennonite Colleges and Universities Made the ‘Final Four’?

April 7, 2022 Andrew

BLUFFTON, OH Every spring, Mennonite post-secondary institutions gather in Bluffton, Ohio to drink decaf and argue about seemingly trivial differences in theology. The event begins with dozens of school, but eventually the best debaters make […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Becomes First Ever Graduate of PragerU

August 4, 2020 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Sam Goertzen, 41, “graduated with honours” from PragerU this week after successfully binge-watching more than four-hundred hours worth of conservative political videos and posting almost all of them to his social […]

Unger & Thirst

“Is Zoom a Sin?” and Other Frequently Searched Phrases of 2020

May 19, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX A new study out of the University of Seminole suggests that the average North American has gained at least twenty pounds and lost a full twenty IQ points since the beginning of the […]

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