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Unger Suspicion

Christians to Stop Killing Other Christians for at Least a Couple Minutes on Easter Sunday

April 20, 2025 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA “Christian” man Vladimir Putin has graciously decided to stop killing fellow Christians for a full fifteen minutes this Easter Sunday. “This is a time when we pause to reflect on our Lord and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tries to Pass Off Farmer Sausage as Kubasa

September 8, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Jake Reimer’s attempt at serving his guests “kubasa” this weekend utterly failed after he figured he could toss a clove of garlic in with the farmer sausage and fool everyone. “He thought a […]

Unger & Thirst

Did You Know … The Plural of Pierogi is Pierogi

August 22, 2024 Andrew

VITA, MB The National Committee for the Proliferation of Proper Food Spelling has issued a friendly reminder to folks on the Canadian prairies that the plural of pierogi is actually pierogi. “It’s not ‘pierogies,’” said […]

Unger the Influence

House Speaker Rota Utterly Bewildered During ‘Axis and Allies’ Game

September 26, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Moments after resigning his post as Speaker of the House, Liberal MP Anthony Rota was spotted in sweatpants at the weekly ‘Axis and Allies’ games night held at Justin Trudeau’s bachelor pad. “Wait, […]

Unger & Thirst

Delicious Beet Borscht Used to Melt Ice All Over Manitoba

April 11, 2023 Andrew

VITA, MB As temperatures rise and roads are looking treacherous, it appears that soup has come to the rescue, as dozens of ice cream pails of Baba’s delicious beet borscht are being ladled onto provincial […]

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