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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Seeks to End Drinking or Driving

August 18, 2017 Andrew

BERLIN, OH The elder board at East Berlin Mennonite Church met this week to discuss the implementation of a few new rules regarding the operation of motor vehicles and/or the consumption of alcohol. The new […]

Unger Suspicion

O.J. Simpson Flees Down L.A. Freeway in Mennonite Buggy

August 16, 2017 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA It was no white Ford Bronco this time. Just yesterday, former football and crime sensation OJ Simpson was spotted fleeing down the freeway in a Mennonite buggy, backing up traffic for miles […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dodge Caravan Sets World Land Speed Record

August 13, 2017 Andrew

BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS, UT The Giesbrecht family of Grunthal, Manitoba has just set a new land speed record of more than 715 km/h (444 mph) at the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. With Mr. Peter Giesbrecht at […]

Unger Conviction

Winkler Church to Install Roundabout in Parking Lot

August 10, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The roundabout craze has taken the Pembina Valley by storm with city streets, local businesses and, now, even churches trying to cash in on the fad. Winkler Mennonite Bible Church plans to spend $3,000,000 […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Biker Gangs Clash with Hells Angels at Sturgis

August 8, 2017 Andrew

STURGIS, SD South Dakota police were on high alert this weekend as a notorious horse-and-buggy Mennonite gang known as ‘The Swartzentrubers’ descended on Sturgis for the annual motorcycle rally. Authorities were concerned that the introduction […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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