The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

texting

The Daily Bonnet

7 Naughty Mennonite Emojis (and What They Really Mean)

February 6, 2021 Andrew

These days you have to be careful when you’re using emojis. You don’t want to unintentionally seduce the pastor’s son. In order to aid clear and concise communication, the Daily Bonnet has created this handy […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandkids Horrified as Grandma Reimer Texts “I’m Mennonite AF”

June 5, 2020 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO Mrs. Reimer, 68, of Manitoba Colony was very excited to try out the new iPhone she just got and was immediately impressed by how easy it was to use. “You don’t even have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Takes Three Hours to Type One Text Message

July 7, 2019 Andrew

BOW ISLAND, AB Breanne Toews, 17, had to wait a full three hours to receive a reply to the simple text message she sent her grandmother this week. Breanne had asked her grandmother whether she […]

The Daily Bonnet

“I’ll be there for sex”: Mennonite Man’s Text Gives the Wrong Impression

May 22, 2019 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Local man Corny Klassen, 63, texted his friend Abe explaining that he’d be at his house for six o’clock to pick up the chickens. Unfortunately, Abe got the wrong impression from the message. […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Knipsbrat and Chill???’: Mennonite Woman Receives Late Night Text

April 16, 2019 Andrew

YARROW, BC Helen Poetker, 47, of Yarrow, BC received an unusual text from her on-again off-again boyfriend Heinrich this past week. The text, which was sent sometime after 1 in the morning said, “Been a […]

Posts pagination

1 2 3 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Anabaptist Heroes to be Added to Mount Rushmore
    August 27, 2018
  • Major League Knipsbrat to Return July 23
    June 25, 2020
  • Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early
    July 1, 2023
  • Justin Trudeau Suffers Embarrassing Case of Premature Election
    August 15, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family for a Week on One Little Caesars Pizza
    March 11, 2024

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved