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swiss mennonite

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman is a Real Mother Smucker

July 26, 2021 Andrew

WOOSTER, OH During the pandemic, Mrs. Smucker of Wooster, Ohio has been holed up watching MTV all day and discovered that a lot of music videos these days refer to “Mother Smuckers.” “I don’t recognize […]

The Daily Bonnet

Help Mr. Funk Decide: Is He Swiss or Russian Mennonite?

March 2, 2021 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Mr. Funk of Kitchener has recently uncovered information on a popular genealogy website that has completely shattered his conception of himself. “I’ve had a crisis of identity,” said Mr. Funk. “I always thought […]

The Daily Bonnet

Anthropologists Shocked! Russian Mennonites aren’t really Russian and Pennsylvania Dutch aren’t really Dutch

November 7, 2019 Andrew

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND Anthropological researchers from the University of New Zealand have recently made a shocking discovery about two prominent groups of Mennonites, the so-called Russians and the Pennsylvania Dutch. “Neither one of them are […]

Quizzes

Test Your Knowledge of Pennsylvania Dutch!

August 15, 2017 Andrew

The Daily Bonnet has created this fun quiz to test your knowledge of the Pennsylvania Dutch language. Let’s see how you do. (You can also test your knowledge of Plautdietsch, spoken by Russian Mennonites here.) […]

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More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Woman Walks Around All Day with Kale in Her Teeth
    August 5, 2019
  • How to Win at the Mennonite Game: A Comprehensive Guide
    September 2, 2016
  • Pets that Look Like Mennonites
    November 4, 2017
  • New Edition of ‘Martyrs Mirror’ to Include Section on Minor Inconveniences Facing the Modern North American Church
    November 30, 2020
  • Mennonite Groundhog Predicts Early Paska Buns this Year
    February 2, 2024

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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