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Unger the Influence

British Columbia Still Counting their Vogts

October 21, 2024 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Elections BC released an initial Vogt count this weekend, but the full results will not be known until all the Vogts are counted. “I think there’s a whole bunch of Vogts in Abbotsford […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Shocked as Announcers Pronounce ‘Loeppky’ Correctly

July 30, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE It was the most shocking moment in Eric Loeppky’s storied volleyball career, as announcers at the 2024 Olympics actually said his last name right. “It was no trouble growing up in Steinbach,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Most Famous People with Every Mennonite Surname

July 24, 2024 Andrew

Have you ever wondered who is the most famous person with your surname? No? Well, you’re just being humble, I suppose. And that’s okay. But for those Mennonites who have less-than-traditional views on this matter, […]

Unger Games

Matt Rempe Insists He’s Not a Rempel

April 22, 2024 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY The heroics of young New York Rangers centre Matt Rempe this weekend had folks, especially Mennonites, scratching their heads in puzzlement. “When I saw that in the Free Press, I thought for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Has Friesen Toews

January 21, 2024 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK After a cold snap in Rosthern, Saskatchewan, Mrs. Anita Friesen has resorted to double and even triple-socking her feet to prevent her Toews from Friesen. “My Toews Froese Fast,” said Friesen. “They were […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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