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summer

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives

July 26, 2026 Andrew

TABER, AB The Kehlers of Grunthal only get two weeks vacation each year and for some reason have decided to blow it all on visiting frintschoft. “Miami? Paris? No. It’s Taber for us!” said Mrs. […]

Unger Suspicion

Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026 Andrew

BIRDS HILL PARK, MB Area man Wally Dueck, 51, made almost $200,000 selling highly-desirable spots in the shade at the Winnipeg Folk Festival this weekend. “Hey, you look a little sun-stroked there, now, don’t you?” […]

Unger Suspicion

Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer

July 13, 2026 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO Thousands of Canadians have decided to vacation in Mexico this summer to escape the oppressive heat of Canada. “Ahhh, it’ll be so nice to get out of Winnipeg for once during the summer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thousands of Mennonite woman descended AD Penner Park this afternoon to watch the local EMMC-EMC-MC slo-pitch tournament, but soon found they had to make a few adjustment to their attire. “Oba, I’ve experienced […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires

May 4, 2026 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mr. Todd Driedger of Aylmer is always the last one in all of Aylmer, Ontario to switch over to his summer tires. “I could tell Daisy was ready for a change,” said Driedger, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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