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Unger Games

Mennonites Shocked as Announcers Pronounce ‘Loeppky’ Correctly

July 30, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE It was the most shocking moment in Eric Loeppky’s storied volleyball career, as announcers at the 2024 Olympics actually said his last name right. “It was no trouble growing up in Steinbach,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Bans Pickleball After Concerns About “Dinking”

June 28, 2024 Andrew

REINTHAL, SK Pickleball has caught on across the country. However, concerns about an activity called “dinking” has led one Mennonite community to ban the sport. “We want our seniors to live chaste lives,” said Reinthal […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Schedules Mandatory Church Meeting During Game 7

June 22, 2024 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Pastor John of the North Edmonton Mennonite made sure to schedule a important mandatory Bruderhof meeting for Monday evening as soon as he found out the Oilers had made it to game 7. […]

Unger Games

Golf Course Features Extra Big Holes to Make it Easier on New Golfers

June 21, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB The new Mitchell Links is reaching out to a new generation of golfers by featuring “holes so big even your Uncle Abe won’t miss it.” The course holes have been expanded and now […]

Unger & Thirst

Chips Blamed for Kicker’s Accuracy Problems

June 7, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Canadian Football League announced big changes this afternoon after an abysmal performance by Blue Bombers kicker Sergio Castillo last night that was attributed to the presence of chips in the area. “From […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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