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The Daily Bonnet

Man Consoles Himself With Gospel Music as Team Loses

November 27, 2016 Andrew

LINDEN, AB By now it’s a ritual. Whenever the Calgary Stampeders are in a nail-biter, local football fan Peter B. Janzen throws an Elvis Presley gospel album on the record player in order to win favour […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Soccer Mom Undergoes Surgery to Become Hockey Mom

November 12, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area woman, Jessica V. Brandt, has recently undergone plastic surgery just in time for the winter hockey season. “I have this procedure done once a year,” said Brandt. “As soon as the kids start […]

The Daily Bonnet

World’s Oldest Living Mennonite Fondly Reminisces About the 1908 World Series

November 3, 2016 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL Henry Baerg, who turned 114 in September, has not followed baseball much in the last 90 years or so, but fondly recalls the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series. “Oba, […]

Unger Conviction

College and Career Glow Bowling Event Results in Record Number of Hook-Ups

October 20, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local College and Career leaders are excited about the significant increase in young men and women hooking-up after a recent glow-bowling event. “It’s really nice to see relationships form like that. That’s what this group is […]

Unger & Thirst

Blue Jays Apologize After Mennonite Man Pelts Outfielder With Knackzoat

October 7, 2016 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The Toronto Blue Jays received a little help from the stands on Tuesday, as a passionate Mennonite fan continued to pelt Baltimore Orioles outfielders with knackzoat throughout the crucial Wild Card playoff game. […]

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