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The Daily Bonnet

Gambler Wins Big By Betting on Mennonite UFC Fighter

September 2, 2020 Andrew

INDIANAPOLIS, IN Centuries of pent-up aggression have been released in UFC rings this season as the Yoders and other Mennonites seem to be totally dominating their opponents. “I know it seems counter-intuitive, but I’ve won […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Bares More than Just Arms at St. Malo

August 7, 2020 Andrew

ST. MALO, MB Mr. Fehr, 62, of Kleefeld decided the family needed a nice afternoon at the beach, so he filled the trunk with zoat and headed off for St. Malo beach. “Oba, but when […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Says Words He’s Never Uttered Before After Scheifele Gets Injured

August 1, 2020 Andrew

KOLA, MB Moments after Winnipeg Jets superstar Mark Scheifele was dragged off the ice with an injury in game one of the play-in series versus the Calgary Flames, the Hiebert family of Kola was treated […]

Unger & Thirst

Introducing the Seattle Knackin’

July 23, 2020 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Eager to win over some hockey fans in the Fraser Valley from the Vancouver Canucks, the owners of the NHL’s latest misguided attempt at making hockey work in a non-hockey market have decided […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loses Thousands Betting on Replays of Last Year’s Football Games

June 20, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mr. Unger was so excited to finally be able to watch some Canadian football games this week that he bet his friend Mr. Toews more than ten thousand dollars that the Ticats […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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