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roll kuchen

Unger Suspicion

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Mark Carney and singer songwriter Bryan Adams were spotted wolfing down roll kuchen and rabus at the annual Altona Mennonite church picnic this weekend. “I mean he’s no Justin Trudeau, but […]

Unger & Thirst

Thieves Steal ‘Mennonite Crown Jewels’ in Brazen Daytime Heist

October 20, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB   Winkler, Manitoba, often called the Paris of the Pembina Valley, was the victim of a brazen daytime heist this week after balaclava-donning thieves on dirt bikes took off with Mrs. Reimer’s prized roll […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family Consumes One Last Watermelon Before Switching to Pumpkin for the Next 8 Months

September 28, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Brandts of Winkler gathered at the Bethel Heritage Park this weekend to share the very last watermelon and Papsi of the season before they consume nothing but pumpkins for the next eight […]

Unger the Influence

JD Vance Has ‘Cringey’ Visit to Mennonite Roll Kuchen Shop

August 26, 2024 Andrew

REEDLEY, CA Vice Presidential hopeful JD Vance stopped by in one of Reedley, California’s famous roll kuchen shops this week to pick up an order and win over a few voters. However, things did not […]

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeggers Vote for their Favourites During Annual “Le Roll Kuchen Week”

September 2, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There were more than 180 participants in “Le Roll Kuchen” week this year, as eager Winnipeggers clamoured to try the best roll kuchens the city had to offer. “As expected, most of the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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