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retirement

Unger Games

Toews Plays Final Game for Chicago

April 15, 2023 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL There was a standing ovation in Chicago this week after former Canadian cabinet minister Vic Toews played his final game for the local NHL squad. “He didn’t score a lot of points in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Retires Tobbdüak After Thirty Years of Service

July 9, 2021 Andrew

CAMPO 6A, MEXICO Mrs. Nita Krahn, of Campo 6A, held a lovely retirement ceremony for her favourite tobbdüak this week after the dish cloth could no longer stand up to the rigours of washing the family’s […]

Unger Suspicion

Retired Threshing Machine Takes Up New Full-Time Advertising Job

August 20, 2020 Andrew

DOMINION CITY, MB One old threshing machine in Dominion City has managed to snag the retirement job of his dreams – a full time advertising job at the side of a gravel road. “It’s not […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chilliwack Couple Retires to Yarrow

July 30, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Wanting to enjoy a more temperate climate, Mr. Thiessen, 78, and Mrs. Thiessen, 79 have decided to pack up their things and move two blocks over to Yarrow. “We’ve heard so many good […]

Unger Suspicion

Dustin Byfuglien Retires from NHL to Work on Mennonite Farm

October 25, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mysteriously absent from the Winnipeg Jets lineup so far this season, rumours have surfaced that Dustin Byfuglien is contemplating retirement to pursue his lifelong dream of working for minimum wage on a Mennonite […]

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