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pope

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Excited to Have a Brand New Pope to Disregard

May 8, 2025 Andrew

VATICAN CITY As the white smoke finally emerged from the Sistine Chapel, Mennonites across the globe waited with bated breath to find out just whose authority they would be rejecting for the next few years. […]

Unger Suspicion

Pope Francis Bans Death Penalty; “Except, of course, for manspreaders,” he says

August 7, 2018 Andrew

VATICAN CITY Pope Francis modified centuries of church teaching this week by calling for the near complete abolishment of the death penalty, except for “particularly heinous crimes such as manspreading and those freakin’ annoying guys […]

Unger Conviction

Who is the ‘Mennonite Pope’?

October 18, 2017 Andrew

Of course, in theory Mennonites believe that all members have equal right and access to interpret scripture and lead the church, which is why we’ve traditionally left the selection of elders and pastors up to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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