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politics

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonites’ Deemed Offensive, To Be Replaced with ‘Personnonites’

February 8, 2018 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Protestors surrounded a Mennonite church in Edmonton this week demanding that it immediately remove the offensive gender-specific label of ‘Mennonite’ from all signage. “We say ‘Personnonites’ now,” said one protestor as he defaced […]

Unger Conviction

Churches Demand All National Parks Be Turned Into Bible Camps

January 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Churches across Canada have been up in arms and are demanding that the federal government fund “all proselytizing efforts” with tax-payer’s money. An online petition sponsored by Life Site News has demanded that […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau to Vacation in Grunthal, Manitoba From Now On

December 21, 2017 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB After being found guilty of violating numerous federal ethics laws by vacationing on the Aga Khan’s private island, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced that all upcoming Trudeau family vacations will take […]

Unger Suspicion

Premier Pallister Invites Manitobans to Sign His Cast

November 18, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Manitobans were lined up outside the Legislative Building in Winnipeg this afternoon for their chance to get up close and personal with Brian Pallister’s broken left arm. Manitobans of all walks […]

The Daily Bonnet

Russian Mennonite-linked Facebook Memes Revealed!

November 4, 2017 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The House Intel committee has just released a treasure trove of Russian Mennonite-linked Facebook memes. Critics say Russian Mennonites purchased advertising space on Facebook last year in an attempt to influence the MCC […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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