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politics

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Finally Legalizes Sundae Shopping

August 19, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Things sure are changing in the growing city of Steinbach. After heated debate this week, Steinbach city council voted 4 to 3 in favour of legalizing sundae shopping. “This is something that has […]

Unger Suspicion

Saudi Arabia to Remove All Statues of Justin Trudeau

August 14, 2018 Andrew

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA After an online Twitter war with the Canadian Prime Minister about human rights, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has made the decision to “immediately remove any and all statues of Justin Trudeau […]

Unger Suspicion

101 Reasons for Americans to Hate Canada

June 14, 2018 Andrew

Dear America, Where did it all go wrong? We used to be good such good friends. What happened? All of a sudden you’re best pals with North Korea and Russia and we’re being told there’s […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Adds Cake-Baking to List of Holy Sacraments

June 6, 2018 Andrew

DENVER, CO A small church just outside of Denver, Colorado has voted overwhelmingly to add cake-baking to its list of holy sacraments. Starting this July, church members will be required to participate in baptism, communion, […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Government Spends $4.5 Billion on Old Useless Crap From Mrs. Penner’s Garage Sale

June 1, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government announced Tuesday that it would be spending more than four billion dollars of taxpayer money on purchasing “whatever useless crap those Mennonites have for sale at their garage sales this […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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