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politics

Unger Suspicion

101 Reasons for Americans to Hate Canada

June 14, 2018 Andrew

Dear America, Where did it all go wrong? We used to be good such good friends. What happened? All of a sudden you’re best pals with North Korea and Russia and we’re being told there’s […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Adds Cake-Baking to List of Holy Sacraments

June 6, 2018 Andrew

DENVER, CO A small church just outside of Denver, Colorado has voted overwhelmingly to add cake-baking to its list of holy sacraments. Starting this July, church members will be required to participate in baptism, communion, […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Government Spends $4.5 Billion on Old Useless Crap From Mrs. Penner’s Garage Sale

June 1, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government announced Tuesday that it would be spending more than four billion dollars of taxpayer money on purchasing “whatever useless crap those Mennonites have for sale at their garage sales this […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites React to Doug Ford’s ‘Buck a Beer’ Plan

May 30, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Brother of late great Toronto mayor Rob Ford, Ontario PC candidate Doug Ford has gained a lot of attention for his unconventional policy proposals during this provincial election campaign. Recently, Ford proposed to […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Daily Bonnet is Running for Mayor of Steinbach: Here’s My Platform!

May 16, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB With long-serving mayor Chris Goertzen announcing he is not running for re-election in 2018, the Steinbach mayoral race is up for grabs. So far, current city councillors John Fehr and Earl Funk have […]

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