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politics

Unger & Thirst

O’Toole Offers Mennonites Half Off at Chicken Chef

September 11, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Following up an election promise of discounts at Swiss Chalet, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole is now wooing Mennonite voters by promising a really good deal at Chicken Chef yet once. “Oba jo!” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

Quizzes

Quiz Time: Would you win an election in southern Manitoba?

August 26, 2021 Andrew

With a federal election on the horizon, a lot of prospective candidates are trying to figure out their odds before taking the plunge. Want to run in southern Manitoba? Well, the Daily Bonnet has created […]

Unger Suspicion

Southern Manitoba Candidates Fight to Woo that Key Anti-Vaxxer Vote

August 22, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB With a federal election on the horizon, southern Manitoban political candidates are clamouring to win over the hearts and minds of the region’s largest identifiable group: anti-vaxxers. “I’ve been knocking on doors for […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Suffers Embarrassing Case of Premature Election

August 15, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Federal Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has suffered an embarrassing case of premature election this week, the youngest sitting politician ever to suffer in this manner. “It’s my first time encountering this ailment,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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