The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

police

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Strip Searched at Airport; Security Shocked at What they Found!

July 10, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Mr. Klassen of Yarrow, BC was selected for random screening at the Vancouver Airport this past week. Mr. Klassen had been heading to visit frintschoft in Kansas, when he was pulled aside for […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Charged with Distracted Driving for Knacking Zoat Behind the Wheel

April 6, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local man Colin Peters, 41, is facing distracted driving charges after being spotted by Altona police with a bag of Ronnie’s Original Jumbo Sunflower Seeds in one hand and the steering wheel in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Police Raid Mennonite Gambling Den, Seize Hundreds of Rook Cards

January 29, 2018 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Wichita police stormed a notorious local gambling den this week, arresting more than two dozen Mennonites and seizing countless decks of Rook cards. The raid is the largest bust of Mennonite gamblers since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Police Seize Massive Stockpile of Knitted Hangers

October 5, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Seven Mennonite grandmas from Altona were taken into custody by authorities this Monday after a massive stash of knitted hangers was discovered in the lobby of the local MB church. It was the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Hires Taunte Nettie as City’s First Female Cop

July 26, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB In a press conference this morning, Winkler mayor Milton Heinrichs announced the hiring of the city’s first female police officer. After searching for more than 12 years for a suitable candidate, the committee […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 4 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Panic Strikes Bible Camp After Tuck Shop Runs Out of Doritos and Pepsi
    July 31, 2019
  • Florida Hires Expert to Help with Election Recount
    November 16, 2018
  • New Mennonite EpiPen Injects Emergency Supply of Schmaunt Fat
    October 27, 2016
  • Mennonite Church Discards Hymnals Because No One Can Read Music Anymore
    September 15, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Has to Read Every Single Freakin’ Word at the Museum
    June 30, 2024

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved