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perogies

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Discovers New Use for Ketchup

July 14, 2025 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB After 300 consecutive days consuming his glums vereniki with nothin but Taunte Lina’s schmaunt fat, area man Dave Kroeker, 41, decided to reach into the fridge for the French’s ketchup. “I don’t know […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Excited that Parliament is Perogied Until March

January 8, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Canada were excited to hear that Parliament is going to be “perogied” until March. The new “perogied” status means that Members of Parliament will basically do nothing but eat […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Ill-Prepared for Encounter with ‘Spicy Perogy Pizza’

February 4, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The Platts of Landmark decided to take a trip into the big city of Schteinbach this weekend for date night once yet. However, the Platts were not prepared for what they encountered at […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Using ‘Hunky Bill’s Perogie Maker’

October 3, 2023 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Anna Harms, 51, of Grunthal has been caught “cheating” with Hunky Bill. The cheating was of great concern to her husband Darrel, who always assumed her perogies were hand made. “And then I […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

November 29, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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