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perogies

Unger & Thirst

Whose Mennonite Mom Makes the Best Perogies?

May 13, 2018 Andrew

For centuries Mennonites have ferociously defended their own mother’s cooking, claiming her vereniki were soft, more delicate, more flavourful, or held together better than all the other Mennonite moms out there. Well, today, we’re going […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Faces Blasphemy Charges After Putting Ketchup on Perogies

April 1, 2017 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Retired bricklayer, Barney Plett of Waterloo, was arraigned on a wide variety of charges including ‘espionage’, ‘defacing public property’, and ‘attempted murder,’ after photographic evidence suggested he lathered his cottage cheese vereneki in a […]

Unger & Thirst

Irish Mennonites Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day With Green Perogies

March 17, 2017 Andrew

DUBLIN, IRELAND Ireland’s small but growing Mennonite community will be honouring St. Patrick today by dyeing all their perogies green. “We’ve adopted a lot of the Russian Mennonite customs and food,” said Pastor Abe F. […]

Unger & Thirst

Poland and Ukraine Unite to Sue Mennonites for Stealing Perogy Recipe

October 25, 2016 Andrew

KIEV, UKRAINE Perogies. Pierogi. Vereniki. Varenyky. Call it what you want, but the boiled dough pockets beloved by Mennonites are undoubtedly of Eastern European origin. The fact that so-called “Russian” Mennonites have laid claim to the delicacy has […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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