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Unger Conviction

Lutheran Pastor Signs 1-Day Contract to Retire as a Mennonite

August 13, 2023 Andrew

FRIEDENSFELD, MB After a 15-year-career where he set nearly every record in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Canada record book, Pastor David has shockingly decided to sign a 1-day contract to retire as a Mennonite. […]

Unger Conviction

Artificial Intelligence Puts Mennonite Pastor Out of Work

April 5, 2023 Andrew

At The Unger Review, we’re always trying to make things easier for Mennonite pastors. They spend enough time each week visiting Taunte Tina at the manor, or breaking up post-trib pre-trib debates among parishioners. So […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Sits Through 3.5 Hours of Avatar But Can’t Handle 20 Minute Sermon

January 28, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA On Saturday night, the Toewses of Fresno sat in a dark theatre for 3.5 hours with no intermission or pee break, but could not handle Pastor Dave’s quick 20 minute sermon the next […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Launches New Line of $99 NFT Trading Cards

December 26, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC When Pastor Randy hinted at a ‘major announcement’ this upcoming Sunday, everyone thought it was going to be either a resignation or pregnancy, but instead Pastor Randy unveiled an amazing new series of […]

Unger Conviction

Neighbourhood Church Has Staff of 30 Pastors for Some Reason

July 7, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The local Waters of Thankful Fellowship church has an average weekly attendance of just over 200 people but has a pastoral staff of more than 30 full time positions for some reason. “Here […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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