Winkler Man Caught Walking Around Morden in a Speedo


Emboldened by Morden’s reputation for liberalism, Winkler man Peter Schellenberg, 63, jogged down Stephen Street this afternoon wearing nothing but a Speedo and a smile.

Waut de schissjat is that yet?” said Mr. Friesen of Morden, exiting the brewery, bottles in hand. “Must be another one of them Winklerites showing off. Better call the cops!”

When police were called to the scene, they really weren’t quite sure what to charge Schellenberg with.

“Indecent exposure?” wondered Officer Unger. “It’s hard to say, but those Speedos don’t look Covid compliant, that’s for sure. I really don’t think that’s an N95!”

Mr. Schellenberg said he was just out enjoying the weather and that his bottoms are triple layered with a nano-filter so there shouldn’t be any troubles.

Ultimately police had to let the man go, although the incident has Mordeners considering a new city slogan.

“We’re thinking something like – Morden: come for the Chicken Chef, stay for the middle-aged men in Speedos.”

(photo credit: Dawn/CC)

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