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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Pastors Make Statement With ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’ T-Shirts

July 25, 2025 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Fed up with meagre salaries that barely pay the rent, Mennonite pastors across the nation have been sporting snazzy new T-shirts as a form of protest. “It’s bad enough he’s wearing such casual […]

Unger Conviction

Fiery Pastor Finds Three Extra Syllables in the Name Jesus

January 2, 2025 Andrew

LETHBRIDGE, AB Rev. Jeremy Goerzen of Lethbridge is making waves throughout southern Alberta after discovering three missing syllables in the name Jesus, which he pronounces each Sunday, sweating roll down his face and Bible pounding […]

Unger Conviction

Long-winded Mennonite Pastor Blamed for Burnt Sunday Roast

September 29, 2024 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Pastor Dan has been called before the church elder board this week after a particularly long-winded sermon led to the destruction of more than a dozen Sunday roasts this past weekend. “Mrs. Kroeker […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Hired for Wife’s Ability to Play the Piano

February 19, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK The local church has just hired a new pianist with the added bonus that her husband is willing to be the pastor on Sundays. “You know, when we were looking for a […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor to Defer $6800 Per Year in Unusual Arrangement with Local Mennonite Church

December 14, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Free agent pastor Sharon O. Broesky, a two-way minister who can preach as well as she can baptize, was a hot commodity on the pastoral market this fall and has just inked an […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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