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ovechkin

The Daily Bonnet

Ovechkin Accidentally Passes the Puck

April 1, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC On the verge of breaking the all-time goal-scoring record in the NHL, Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals, accidentally passed the puck last night. “Ugh, an assist,” said Ovechkin. “What the hell am […]

Unger Games

Morrissey Spotted at NHL All-Star Game

February 5, 2023 Andrew

SUNRISE, FL Controversial British rocker Morrissey was spotted at the NHL All Star Game in Florida this weekend, where he picked up two assists and placed third in the slap shot competition. “Who would have […]

Unger Games

Ovechkin Gifts Putin with Record-Setting Puck

December 27, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA Just moments after an empty net goal put him second all-time in career goals, Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin tossed the historic puck into a manila envelope, slapped on a couple stamps, and mailed […]

Unger Games

Empty Net Really Proud to Be Part of Ovechkin’s Historic Moment

December 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An empty net from Winnipeg, Manitoba will forever be in the NHL record books after being scored on by Alexander Ovechkin, who moves to number 2 all time. “I have to admit that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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