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Unger Conviction

Mennonites Happy, Pentecostals Sad as Ontario Bans Dancing in Church

June 21, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Churches are reopening in Ontario this week with a number of restrictions. On the top of the list is a ban on dancing. Unsurprisingly, the new law has devastated Pentecostals but absolutely thrilled […]

Unger & Thirst

Toronto Woman Caught Smuggling Three Suitcases Full of Farmer Sausage

September 17, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Mrs. Wiebe, 47, of Toronto was caught at the Pearson Airport this week with three suitcases packed full of delicious Mennonite farmer sausage that she obtained on a recent trip to southern Manitoba. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman “Wins the Lottery” After Mrs. Brubacher’s Clothes Blow into Her Yard

August 22, 2019 Andrew

HEIDELBERG, ON Mrs. Eby is feeling like she won the lottery this week after a particularly windy day blew all of Mrs. Brubacher’s clothes right into her yard. “This should keep the Ebys supplied all […]

Quizzes

The Ontario Mennonite Quiz!

August 8, 2019 Andrew

Ontario Mennonites. They exist. Let’s see how much you know about them! [wp_quiz id=”10406″]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finds Romance in the Sausage Aisle at Zehrs

July 29, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON When Miss Susannah Wenger went shopping this past Wednesday in Kitchener, she never thought she’d meet the love of her life in the sausage aisle. “There I was, perusing the wide variety of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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