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The Daily Bonnet

B.M. Friesen and Sons Electrical to Rebrand

December 7, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Since the early days of the rural electrification program in Manitoba, B.M. Friesen and Sons has been a household name in the Scratching River settlement. Now, however, the company has decided to rebrand. […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Crowd Limits Still Not Big Enough to Accommodate the Klassens

May 20, 2020 Andrew

GRETNA, MB After very few new cases in the past week, the Manitoba government has decided to ease the limits on public gatherings. Starting Friday, Manitobans, other than the fertile Klassen family, will be allowed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mr. Enns Accuses Mr. Ens of ‘Sheer Laziness’

April 20, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mr. Enns has accused Mr. Ens of the greatest crime a Mennonite can commit: laziness. Evidence of this ‘sheer laziness’ is the fact that Mr. Ens decides to spell his name with only […]

The Daily Bonnet

You’re So Vain, You Probably Think this Post is About You, Don’t You, Don’t You?

February 26, 2020 Andrew

Oba, nay, so yust because it says Johan Friesen in the article doesn’t mean it’s about you. There are many Johan Friesens. There are twenty-seven in the Schteinback phone book alone, not to mention all […]

The Daily Bonnet

People Keep Assuming Kansas Friesens are Secretly Canadian

February 10, 2020 Andrew

MEADE, KS The Friesens of Kansas have an announcement to make: “We’re not Canadians!” “Any time I go anywhere people assume I’m from Manitoba,” said Mr. Friesen. “Gosh, you know not all the Friesens left […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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