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music

Unger Conviction

Friesen Family Musical Ensemble Breaks Up

November 26, 2018 Andrew

LINDEN, AB The Friesen Family Singers have ended their eight year career at the top of the Mennonite family gospel ensemble charts. For almost a decade the Friesens have toured church basements across the Canadian […]

Unger Conviction

‘Iron Maiden’ Performs to Sold Out Crowd at Local Mennonite Church

November 17, 2018 Andrew

ELIDA, OH There was some confusion with the local metal community after tickets they had purchased to see UK heavy metal icons ‘Iron Maiden’ turned out to be a performance by a single Mennonite woman […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Quilting Ladies Accidentally Attend Metallica Concert

September 14, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The ladies from the Winkler EMMB Quilting Group were heading into the city on one of their monthly outings. They had intended to attend a panel discussion at the Millennium Library, when a […]

Unger Conviction

Report: Shallow Repetitive Worship Songs More Pleasing to the Lord than Hymns

September 2, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A report out of the University of Southern Lancaster suggests that really shallow, repetitive, self-indulgent ‘Praise and Worship’ songs are a full 20% more pleasing to the Lord than the boring old hymns. “I’m pretty […]

The Daily Bonnet

Six Hospitalized After Jesus Takes the Wheel

August 30, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Four Yoders and two Millers were rushed to the hospital in Goshen this week after Mr. Yoder decided to relinquish his driving duties and let Jesus take over. “I was heading down the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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