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meat

Unger & Thirst

Church Picnic Offers Delightful Array of Vegetarian Options

July 9, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Vegetarians at South Winkler Memorial Evangelical Mennonite Bible Church were left with a delectable array of options at the church picnic this week, which included either white or even brown buns. “We’ve got […]

Unger & Thirst

Fake Russian McDonalds Offers Limp Flavourless Fries Called ‘Putin’

June 18, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA After all the real McDonalds stores shut down this week, a new FakeDonalds is setting up shop in Russia and promises to offer a number of new menu items, including a variation on […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Enters Guinness Book of Records for Rapid Meat Canning

March 20, 2022 Andrew

SMOKETOWN, PA Mrs. Sarah Glatfelter of Smoketown, Pennsylvania has entered the Guinness Book of Records after canning more than 100 cans of meat for MCC within just one hour. “I’ve never seen a Mennonite can […]

Unger & Thirst

Adventurous Mennonite Man Opts for Schintjefleesch Over Foarmaworsht

December 30, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Colin Berg is being hailed as “Steinbach’s most adventurous eater” this week after he went out on a limb and ordered the ham rather than the farmer sausage to accompany his vereniki. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Reminds Husband, “Gravy is not a beverage.”

September 26, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Earl Driedger, 61, of St. Catharines has been downing cups of beef gravy for years, much to the chagrin of his wife Brenda. “Just because you can drink it, doesn’t mean you […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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