The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

meat

Unger Games

Steinbach Mayor Wins Grand Slam of Butchering

January 12, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After fierce competition all week, Steinbach mayor Earl Funk came home with gold medal in the Grand Slam of Butchering this week. “His farmer sausages in the 8th end were what really did […]

Unger & Thirst

Church Picnic Offers Delightful Array of Vegetarian Options

July 9, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Vegetarians at South Winkler Memorial Evangelical Mennonite Bible Church were left with a delectable array of options at the church picnic this week, which included either white or even brown buns. “We’ve got […]

Unger & Thirst

Fake Russian McDonalds Offers Limp Flavourless Fries Called ‘Putin’

June 18, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA After all the real McDonalds stores shut down this week, a new FakeDonalds is setting up shop in Russia and promises to offer a number of new menu items, including a variation on […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Enters Guinness Book of Records for Rapid Meat Canning

March 20, 2022 Andrew

SMOKETOWN, PA Mrs. Sarah Glatfelter of Smoketown, Pennsylvania has entered the Guinness Book of Records after canning more than 100 cans of meat for MCC within just one hour. “I’ve never seen a Mennonite can […]

Unger & Thirst

Adventurous Mennonite Man Opts for Schintjefleesch Over Foarmaworsht

December 30, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Colin Berg is being hailed as “Steinbach’s most adventurous eater” this week after he went out on a limb and ordered the ham rather than the farmer sausage to accompany his vereniki. […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 4 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Colicky Baby Jesus Completely Ruins Living Nativity
    December 18, 2016
  • Anabaptist Seminary Graduates a Record Five Calvinists
    April 22, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Sells Tomato Juice Miracle Cure
    June 16, 2017
  • Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting
    September 30, 2020
  • Kermit the Frog Weighs in on Steinbach Pride Controversy
    June 21, 2016

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved