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marriage

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Men Clamour to Buy Discount Flowers Two Days After Valentine’s Day

February 16, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Romantic Mennonite men across the Fraser Valley flocked to the mall this afternoon to get their hands on cheap flowers and discount chocolates. “Ahh, honey, you shouldn’t have!” said Mrs. Enns, giving her […]

The Daily Bonnet

Romantic Mennonite Couple Break Tradition with Evening Meddachschlop Tonight

February 14, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The Friesens of Altona are breaking centuries of tradition this evening by having their afternoon nap (ie. meddachschlop) sometime this evening rather than just after lunch. “It’s Valentine’s Day, so my Harold thought […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Discovered Hidden Behind Her Englisher Husband’s Surname

January 8, 2023 Andrew

HOCHSTEIN, MB When Sarah Smith, 27, moved to Hochstein from the city this year to run the coffee shop, locals were immediately impressed by the “authentic Englisher” they now had living in their midst. “Smith […]

The Daily Bonnet

Area Resident Becomes First Mennonite Man Ever to Tell His Wife He Loves Her

October 14, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Area man Dick Froese made headlines throughout Leamington this week after he became the first Mennonite man ever to publicly express love for his own wife. “When we got married 40 years ago, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Kinky Mennonite Couple to Try 606ing Tonight

October 5, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After spending the weekend visiting some GCer friends in Indiana, MBers Marge and Albert Wiens are eager to get home and “try out 606” for themselves. “All weekend long, our General Conference friends […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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