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marriage

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Rules Thumbs Up Emoji Counts as Legally Binding Marriage Proposal

July 7, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK The North Rosthern MB Church is inviting everyone to the wedding of Christopher Peters and Alison Funk this Sunday after Christopher inadvertently gave a “thumbs up” to one of Alison’s posts. “As far […]

Daily Bonnet

Beloved Mennonite Sex Educator to Be Honoured at Church this Sunday

July 3, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Renowned Mennonite sex educator Susanna Janzen, 91, will be honoured at the morning service this Sunday for her tireless dedication to keep Mennonites from finding out anything about sex until well after […]

The Daily Bonnet

Engaged Woman Struggles to Keep from Farting in Front of Her Fiancé

June 8, 2023 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB With his three weeks to go before the wedding, Sandra Kliewer is struggling to prevent herself from farting in front of her soon-to-be husband. “We started dating a year ago, so it’s been […]

Headline Contest

Annual ‘Best Borscht Breath’ Championship Draws Massive Crowd for 9th Consecutive Year (Headline Contest #6 winner)

June 6, 2023 Andrew

Congrats to this week’s winner Evan Morgan! Each week The Unger Review will provide a photo in need of a headline. At the end of the week the top 3 headlines, as selected by The […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chaste Young Mennonite Man Fully Intends to Pay Before He Pumps

June 2, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Guillermo Wiens, 19, was absolutely flummoxed by the “pay before you pump” sign at the local gas station this afternoon. “Why would such a sign even be necessary?” wondered Wiens. “What […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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