The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

legalism

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Sells New ‘What Would Jansen Do’ Bracelets

April 21, 2019 Andrew

BEATRICE, NE In honour of long-term elder Mr. Jansen, the ECCM Mennonite Church of Beatrice has introduced a new product for sale in the church book store: a limited-edition ‘What Would Jansen Do?’ bracelet. “You […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Can’t Figure Out What to Give Up for Lent Since Everything Fun is Already Forbidden

March 8, 2019 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Mennonites across North America were baffled this week as other Christians were doing something called “Lent” for forty days. “Apparently they give up something pleasurable to God for forty days,” said Andrew Miller […]

Quizzes

Growing up Mennonite, what were you FORBIDDEN from doing?

September 19, 2018 Andrew

Mennonite homes are known for having a lot of rules…but not everyone’s rules were the same. From the list below, click on each activity that was NOT allowed, or at least seriously frowned upon, in […]

Unger Conviction

Blood Moon ‘A Sign From God’ that the Reign of the Fundamentalist Mennonite Elders Has Come to an End

July 27, 2018 Andrew

BERGTHAL, MB Conservative Mennonites across North America are interpreting tonight’s blood moon as a ‘clear sign from God’ that they no longer have to follow the ‘bullshit rules’ of the elders and can now live […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Woman Accidentally Displays Sexy Lingerie on Clothesline
    July 10, 2019
  • Pacifist Lions on Verge of Extinction
    January 24, 2017
  • Impromptu Worship Service Breaks Out in Hobby Lobby
    June 13, 2018
  • We Asked AI to Create Images of the Main Characters from Andrew Unger’s Novel Once Removed
    October 24, 2023
  • Mennonite Couple Covered in Flour After Things Get Frisky in the Kitchen
    December 6, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved