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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather for Nationwide ‘No Krahns’ Protests

October 19, 2025 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Millions of Mennonites across the United States gathered for what they had heard was going to be a ‘No Krahns’ protest. “It’s about time we sent those Krahns back to Canada,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Opa Krahn is Patiently Waiting in the Wings

January 2, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Opa Krahn has been patiently sitting in the Krahn living room for the past few weeks, just waiting for the opportunity to come into the kitchen and surprise everyone with his presence. “Mother’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Oma Krahn’ Variant Spreads Like Wildfire in Mennonite Country

November 26, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB It seems a new variant has been tailor-made to spread like wildfire in Mennonite communities. Scientists have just discovered the Oma Krahn strain, which first appeared at a soup and pie fundraiser […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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