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knipsbrat

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Go Crazy for New Cryptocurrency the ‘Plettcoin’

December 27, 2017 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB A new Mennonite cryptocurrency known as the plettcoin soared to record highs this past week before quickly plummeting to embarrassing lows. The plettcoin, once valued at close to $20,000, is now so useless […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandpa Wiebe Knipses Twelve Twenties in a Row

December 22, 2017 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Grandpa Wiebe of Vankla impressed all the Wiebes at the Wiebe gathering last night after knipsing twenty after twenty, and at the rate of a toonie per knispe, earned himself quite the pile […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Regulations Force Female Crokinole Players to Wear Short Skirts

May 4, 2017 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON In an effort to draw viewers away from tennis, the International Crokinole Federation (ICF) has recently announced that it will now be requiring all ladies knipsbrat players to wear skirts “above the knee.” “If professional […]

Unger Games

Calgary Mayor Handily Defeated by Abbotsford Mayor in Crokinole Match

April 5, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Abbotsford Mayor Henry Braun took on all competitors and came out as the clear victor at the annual Canadian Mayor’s Crokinole Tournament this past weekend. Braun faced Naheed Nenshi in the final match and scored an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Launches Kickstarter Campaign for Crokinole iPhone App

July 18, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB As increasing number of Mennonite seniors take to occupying their time with crokinole, local man Abe Kehler, is hoping to lure them over to a more modern version of the game. “You just knips the pieces […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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