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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Invokes Emergencies Act to Remove Husband from Bathroom

February 24, 2022 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC After her husband Dan had “been on the can for more than an hour,” Mrs. Susan Kliewer of Black Creek declared the Emergencies Act. “My gosh, I bet he’s reading back issues […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Refuses to Clean Up Dishes Until He Gets Meeting with Prime Minister

February 21, 2022 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON The dishes are really piling up at the Peters house this week after Clint Peters, 57, of St. Catharines staged a one-man protest and refused to do any chores until Justin Trudeau […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Blows Entire MPI Cheque on Canadian Flags

February 18, 2022 Andrew

GRETNA, MB Local man Art Fehr has been waiting with bated breath for his auto insurance rebate cheque from MPI. When it finally arrived this Thursday, he promptly blew the entire thing on Canadian flags […]

Unger Suspicion

Is Justin Trudeau the Son of Menno Simons?

February 11, 2022 Andrew

WITMARSUM, NETHERLANDS New photographic evidence suggests Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau just might be the son of early Anabaptist leader Menno Simons. “The eyebrows, the nose, the wavy hair, even the distance between his eyes […]

Unger Suspicion

Truckers Demand Trudeau Come Out of Hiding and Face Them in This Dunk Tank

February 1, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Protestors gathered in the nation’s capital this weekend are demanding that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau “come out of hiding” and appear before them in “one of them dunk tank things we’ve got set […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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