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joe biden

Unger the Influence

Rolling Stones Announce New More Youthful Lead Singer Joe Biden

July 21, 2024 Andrew

LONDON, UK It didn’t take long for President Joe Biden to find a new job–lead singer of legendary rock band The Rolling Stones. “You can’t always get what you want and Mick was getting long […]

Unger Conviction

Biden Sends Thoughts and Prayers to “Former President Ronald Reagan”

July 13, 2024 Andrew

BUTLER, PA After being informed on the situation at the rally in Pennsylvania, President Joe Biden took to the stage to express his sympathy for “former President Ronald Reagan.” “I’ve been briefed on the situation,” […]

Unger the Influence

Justin Trudeau Plans to Stick Around Long Enough to Become the Next Joe Biden

June 29, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Despite losing a safe seat in Toronto this week, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau plans to stick around for a while, just like his inspiration south of the border Joe Biden. “Look at […]

Unger the Influence

Vice President Peters? Mennonites Shocked to Discover Joe Biden Using a Mennonite Pseudonym

August 21, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer is demanding to see the unredacted document that link then Vice President Joe Biden to various Mennonite pseudonyms, including Robert Peters, I.P. Fast, and Ona Bender. “We […]

Unger & Thirst

Biden Weighs Nationwide Ban on Gassy Mennonite Food

January 13, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Republicans are up in arms this week as the Biden administration is reportedly considering banning “gassy Mennonite food like schmaunt fat, formavorscht, and all those fried onions they like to put on the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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