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The Daily Bonnet

Doctor Shortage Finally Solved as Thousands of Medical Experts Appear Online

October 30, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The doctor shortage in southern Manitoba has finally been solved as thousands of people in the area are now apparently fully-fledged medical experts. “We’ve seen a huge surge in medical expertise, not just […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Sheeple’ Farm Opens in Southern Manitoba

October 23, 2020 Andrew

SHEEPLETON, MB Agriculture continues to evolve in southern Manitoba. This year, in fact, the branding of people we don’t agree with as ‘sheeple’ has now surpassed cattle and hog farming as the most popular agricultural […]

The Daily Bonnet

Shenandoah Valley Erupts in Chaos After Sarcastic Comment is Posted Without a Smiley Face

September 10, 2020 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA The Shenandoah Valley is in chaos this week, after Mr. Gerber posted a sarcastic comment on Facebook and failed to indicate his sarcasm with a smiley face emoji. “All I said was that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Naive Manitoba Man Tries to Send a Text from Out by Sandilands Somewhere

September 6, 2020 Andrew

SANDILANDS, MB Local man Tim Giesbrecht, 41, was at the annual Giesbrecht wiener roast and horseshoes tournament at the ranger station in the Sandilands forest when he hauled out his phone between shots and attempted […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Becomes First Ever Graduate of PragerU

August 4, 2020 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Sam Goertzen, 41, “graduated with honours” from PragerU this week after successfully binge-watching more than four-hundred hours worth of conservative political videos and posting almost all of them to his social […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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