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hockey

Unger Games

Jantsied Beats Ditsied for First Time in 26 Years

April 27, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Oba jo, that was quite the Turnbull Cup as the Jantsied Flyers defeated the Ditsied Pistons 4 games to nothing yet once. “Nah, jung, you finally did it,” said Abe Janzen of Jantsied. […]

Unger Games

Matt Rempe Insists He’s Not a Rempel

April 22, 2024 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY The heroics of young New York Rangers centre Matt Rempe this weekend had folks, especially Mennonites, scratching their heads in puzzlement. “When I saw that in the Free Press, I thought for […]

Unger Games

Thousands Gather in Winnipeg for Wite-Out Party

April 21, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Streets are closed for several blocks surrounding the South Kildonan EMB Church this weekend as thousands are expected to gather for the first annual Wite-Out Party. “We’re correcting all the errors in the […]

Unger Games

Arena to Change Name Every Couple Years So You Never Remember What it’s Called

January 15, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The downtown arena in Winnipeg has a radical new plan to make sure sports and music fans alike never know what the heck it’s called these days. “At first we thought we’d change […]

Unger Games

‘O Canada’ Performed in Low German Before Jets Game

December 18, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Cheers erupted in Winkler this evening as, for the first time in NHL history, the Canadian national anthem was performed in the Mennonite dialect of Low German. “I’m used to this at Winkler […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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