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Unger & Thirst

8 Easy Mennonite Recipes for Your Hockey Playoff Parties

May 5, 2018 Andrew

Oba, so you thought you’d have a nice evening alone with your hubby, but Henry has invited all the church men over to watch the Jats game yet. They’re doing a lot of yelling and […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Hospitals Overrun With Jets-Related Heart Attacks

May 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a narrow defeat in double overtime on Sunday, followed by a come-from-way-behind victory on Tuesday, Winnipeg hospitals are now filled to the brim with Jets-induced heart attack victims. “If this keeps up, […]

Unger Games

American Hockey Expert Makes His Picks for NHL Playoffs

April 25, 2018 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY America’s foremost hockey expert has made his prognostication for the 2018 NHL playoffs. After a meticulous five minute Google search where he learned the entirety of his hockey knowledge, the American analyst […]

Unger Suspicion

Nation Shocked as Canadian NHL Team Wins Playoff Series Without Rioting

April 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tens of thousands of fans lined the streets of downtown Winnipeg on Friday night to celebrate the Jets first round playoff victory over the Minnesota Wild. Jets fans bucked decades of Canadian hockey […]

Unger Suspicion

Why Every Single Winnipeg Jets Player is Actually a Mennonite

April 21, 2018 Andrew

I’m not much one for conspiracies, but I think something’s going on here. Much has been made of the fact that Finnish superstar Patrik Laine seems awfully Mennonite with his beard and teetotaling. However, if […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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