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health

Unger Suspicion

Premier Pallister Invites Manitobans to Sign His Cast

November 18, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Manitobans were lined up outside the Legislative Building in Winnipeg this afternoon for their chance to get up close and personal with Brian Pallister’s broken left arm. Manitobans of all walks […]

The Daily Bonnet

How My Life Has Changed Since Menno-pause

November 18, 2017 Andrew

BY: PATRICIA YODER As much as we Mennonites like to resist change, we, too, are human and are not immune to biological changes. I first started noticing these changes in my late 40s. After speaking […]

Unger Suspicion

Millennial Receives Medical Attention to Extract Smartphone from Hand

November 8, 2017 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA 23-year-old Eastern Mennonite University student Cara Witmer underwent emergency surgery on Monday to remove an iPhone 6s, which had been lodged in her left hand since late 2015. “It was touch and go […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Dies After Serving on One Too Many Church Committees

October 22, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local woman Mrs. Dorothy Shenk, 71, passed away this week after being asked to serve on yet another church committee. Before her untimely death by committee, Mrs. Shenk was happily serving on the […]

Unger & Thirst

A Calorie Guide to Mennonite Cooking

September 16, 2017 Andrew

In the days before we became lazy and assimilated, Mennonites wouldn’t concern themselves with such things. We worked hard all day on the farm, where we could easily sweat out even the very fattiest of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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