The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

fruit

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Spends Five Hours Selecting Watermelon

June 23, 2019 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Mrs. Fehr, 63, had to make sure she got just the right watermelon for her faspa this Sunday and so she spent more than five hours knocking, tapping, poking and shaking various melons […]

Unger & Thirst

Grandma Stocks Up On Discount Christmas Oranges For Next Year

January 1, 2019 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Mrs. Harms, 71, of Chortitz is already stocking up on Mandarin oranges, pistachio pudding mix, salted peanuts and halva for next year’s Christmas celebration. “It’s absolute madness at the grocery store today,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Children Horrified as Grandpa Takes a Bite out of ‘Petunia Rhubarb’

October 21, 2018 Andrew

REINLAND, MB The Brandt kids were settling in for a nice lunch with Grandma and Grandpa, when things got a little awkward. Grandma came into the house and presented the children with a lovely array […]

Unger & Thirst

Grandkids Still Reluctant to Go Anywhere Near Grandma’s Plumi Moos

March 29, 2018 Andrew

REINLAND, MB The unveiling of Grandma’s famous Easter plumi moos this Sunday sent Little Erika and Paul Brandt running for the hills and screaming at the top of their lungs. Erika, 4, and Paul, 6, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Overdoses on Christmas Oranges

December 26, 2016 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Local woman Mrs. Helen F. Gerbrandt, 76, of the Kleefeld area was hospitalized yesterday after consuming more than thirty Mandarin oranges in a single sitting. “She’s got way too much Vitamin C in her body,” […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Quiz: Daily Bonnet Headline or Real News Article
    December 25, 2016
  • NFL Announces New Gruelling 162-Game Schedule
    September 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Church to Hold Weeklong Series of Meetings to Decide Matters that Easily Could Have Been Settled in a Couple Emails
    May 2, 2022
  • Green Party Photoshops Yerba Mate into Elizabeth May’s Hand
    October 7, 2019
  • Hopes of McDonald’s Dashed as Mennonite Children Told “We Have Perfectly Good Food at Home!”
    May 30, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved